Scottish man calls and says he was sick and not coming to Oxford. I am horrified that it could be lie in manner of typical man so hope that he is not in arms of another woman. The emotional frustration actually gave me energy and I went to the gym early on Saturday morning - concept previously unheard of.
On the way back from the gym at 10.00am Saturday morning I got a text from CAG. ‘Can you please spare some time for me I am so depressed‘ it says. I went to her house which was actually good because I did not have to go home and risk bumping into Jake. I let myself into her apartment which is around the corner from big flash house. She is drinking a beer, has a Yankees sweater and cap on and is wearing NO MAKEUP. ‘Pull yourself together’ I say hysterically ‘oh my god I can’t LOOK at you put something on your face!’ I make gagging sounds and cover my eyes until she eventually goes into her bathroom and makes a slight effort with her appearance.
‘What are you depressed for?’ I say. ‘My life ‘she says, swigging her beer. She seems a little bit disorientated. I ask her how long she has been drinking as its still morning and she says ‘oh this is my first beer I just took these sleeping pills last night and woke up holding some candy and a banana and I don’t really know where I got them from.’ ‘Cra-zy.’ I think. But also is cool and I imagine she is taking Vicadin in manner or Dr House.
‘You know what I want, I wanna bake a fucking CAKE man’ she says. ‘I want some microwave Cake mix’. ‘We don’t do that in this Country’ I say ’I will help you bake a cake from scratch’. She loses interest and drinks more so I drag her up the road to my house. She moans and swears loudly all the way there.
I keep my baking cupboard full at all times in case I ever allow myself to bake a cake and then eat it. I took out all the ingredients for a simple Nigella Chocolate Loaf and the recipe. I tell her to do exactly what recipe says. I leave her in the kitchen and she suddenly goes quiet and starts to concentrate. It was like getting a baby off to sleep when you have been up with it for hours. I left her alone and did some homework. I checked on her periodically and she was happily weighing and measuring flour and chocolate. Finally the chocolate cake was made. At lunchtime Jake came home and CAG and I had also whipped up some pasta and started a bottle of Merlot. We had taken the cake, pasta, and Merlot outside and we were sitting on the balcony overlooking the river toasting ourselves. CAG dropped her dish of pasta, and one glass, but we were not deterred. Then she announced she wanted to get stoned. I don’t love drugs but I think its quite rock and roll when other people do it as long as I don’t have to. Five minutes later her ‘dealer’ arrived at our house, walking right through the house to deliver it to her on the balcony personally. Jake stormed out onto the balcony and gave us a long lecture about allowing criminals to walk through our house when he is a lawyer. He was not however above helping CAG smoke her new drugs though.
Today I have had half a bottle of wine, Chocolate Cake, pasta, gone to the gym and then finish the icing out of the bowl after CAG and Jake fell asleep on the sofas. Oh and weigh self and am back to 64kgs.
Following week - Oxford
Taking a little break from American girl coz she is insane, and trying to go to do a class at the gym each night. Am eating special k for breakfasts with skim milk, Ryvita and ham and mustard for lunch and then fish or salad for dinner. Have superfood one night of brown rice, broccoli and baked trout. I sprinkle some chilli and coriander over the top to bake. Is delicious and quite filling as I was very hungry from gym.
Dimitri from my bus invites me out with his workmates in the local village of Wallingford. His mates are lovely single girls and immediately we start talking about periods and vibrators and ignore Dimitri. Dimitri is quite the man about town in Wallingford anyway and so he is constantly wandering off to chat to other people. Me and the single girls drink 8 pints and tell each other we love each other and swap numbers. I tell them I live with my ex boyfriend who hates me and they listen aghast and fascinated. Decided that the upside of having a car wreck of a life is get lots of attention and lovely new friends.
Scottish man texts me that he has just arrived back from Germany and has missed me. I have not heard from him in two weeks and have been hysterically awaiting his call so am delighted and relieved that he is still on the scene. I lose interest in two new best friends and text him flirty replies and ask if he bought me back chocolate. He asks what I am doing. I say I am out with new friend Dimitri and that he is introducing me to some local people. Scottish man says I am flirt and that Dimitri probably has designs. It occurs to me that maybe all males DO fancy me but then Dimitri asks me if I broke my nose when I was younger so I assume he thinks I have a funny hook nose just like the kids at my primary school said. Am very happy about slight jealousy on part of Scottish man though.
I tell Scottish man on the phone about American girl and he nick names her CAG which is short for Crazy American Girl. He is funniest man ever.
At closing time Dimitri and I weave back to our bus talking at the top of our lungs. He introduces me to his girlfriend when we get back to Oxford and she takes an immediate dislike to me but she is sober and we are in very very high spirits so I am sure that it is not personal nor does she assume that I am trying to cop off with her boyfriend because that would be anti feminist.
The following day at work am very very hungover and have to eat canteen ladies lovely suspiciously creamy soup and a bag of crisps. Stare at computer screen all day and do nothing. Decide to have day off diet and that night I stop at Marks and Spenser and buy hot pizza bread and then make pesto spaghetti with chilli oil and ignore Jake and eat in front of television while trying to remain horizontal at all times. Scottish man texts me saying he will be in Oxford on the weekend and perhaps he would take me out for a romantic meal in the Cotswolds. I dare to hope this might come to fruition but have to play it very cool so I do not commit to any arrangement or confirm that I am free.
Dimitri from my bus invites me out with his workmates in the local village of Wallingford. His mates are lovely single girls and immediately we start talking about periods and vibrators and ignore Dimitri. Dimitri is quite the man about town in Wallingford anyway and so he is constantly wandering off to chat to other people. Me and the single girls drink 8 pints and tell each other we love each other and swap numbers. I tell them I live with my ex boyfriend who hates me and they listen aghast and fascinated. Decided that the upside of having a car wreck of a life is get lots of attention and lovely new friends.
Scottish man texts me that he has just arrived back from Germany and has missed me. I have not heard from him in two weeks and have been hysterically awaiting his call so am delighted and relieved that he is still on the scene. I lose interest in two new best friends and text him flirty replies and ask if he bought me back chocolate. He asks what I am doing. I say I am out with new friend Dimitri and that he is introducing me to some local people. Scottish man says I am flirt and that Dimitri probably has designs. It occurs to me that maybe all males DO fancy me but then Dimitri asks me if I broke my nose when I was younger so I assume he thinks I have a funny hook nose just like the kids at my primary school said. Am very happy about slight jealousy on part of Scottish man though.
I tell Scottish man on the phone about American girl and he nick names her CAG which is short for Crazy American Girl. He is funniest man ever.
At closing time Dimitri and I weave back to our bus talking at the top of our lungs. He introduces me to his girlfriend when we get back to Oxford and she takes an immediate dislike to me but she is sober and we are in very very high spirits so I am sure that it is not personal nor does she assume that I am trying to cop off with her boyfriend because that would be anti feminist.
The following day at work am very very hungover and have to eat canteen ladies lovely suspiciously creamy soup and a bag of crisps. Stare at computer screen all day and do nothing. Decide to have day off diet and that night I stop at Marks and Spenser and buy hot pizza bread and then make pesto spaghetti with chilli oil and ignore Jake and eat in front of television while trying to remain horizontal at all times. Scottish man texts me saying he will be in Oxford on the weekend and perhaps he would take me out for a romantic meal in the Cotswolds. I dare to hope this might come to fruition but have to play it very cool so I do not commit to any arrangement or confirm that I am free.
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