Following week

Stay in London for last week that am paying rent have only small amount of outfits and makeup left that is not in Oxford. Flatmate and I never mention snog and never make eye contact ever again.

However is least of worries as trying to diet and move and find job in oxford is v difficult. Jake and I do not speak on phone all week. He has moved from rage into silent white fury. Is not assisted by fact that he is in big flash house on own with most of my belongings and I stay in London to gallivant. I have leaving drinks with everyone all week. I ty to run every lunch time and then eat only a bagel and cup of fruit for lunch.,I manage this only once as Claudette and the few others from work who I don’t hate take me out for lunch each day to counsel re relationship problems.

Am offered 6 month job in Oxford. Claudette and work friends think that perhaps should not move there as Jake is filled with rage. I explain his threat to sue and beautiful house where I can have dinner parties. Perhaps Jake could go out lots. He has not spoken to me since I called him a tightarse and threw change at his head.

Decide to take 6 month job so can live in flash house without commute. Tell Jake will be there on weekend. On Thursday drink three bottles of red wine with workmates for third time that week. No food in house so have Thai noodles which I eat in street on way to house. On Friday I take the day off work and pack suitcase to head to oxford. Turns out to be much more stuff in my room to pack than one suitcase. Is three stripy chav laundry bags full. Have to make taxi driver come into room to help me carry them all. Taxi driver is Serbian and asks if I have boyfriend. I say yes and he asks if I like threesomes. I get him hurriedly out of my bedroom. At Paddington have to ask random student to help me onto train. I thank them very quickly before they can also make deviant requests.

When I am on the train I realise my money cards are missing and have been since I left them behind bar at pub with workmates the night before. Also have not eaten since noodles the night before and am sweating excess alcohol.

I ring Jake constantly all the way to Oxford on the train. He does not respond, even though his secretary advises me that he too, has the day off work. I count the times I have called him. Have called 41 times. I left 5 messages saying ‘Hi, realise you hate me but have no money for cab and I have too much to carry. Can you come and help me?’ He responds ‘watchin’ football.’ He actually did spell watching ‘watchin’. Like hes a cool cat chilling out. Gives me the rage.

I arrive in Oxford and scrape together £5.50 in coins and ask cab driver to drive me to flash house on river. He gets one street away and money runs out. ‘Please don’t leave me’ I say ‘I cant carry all my stuff’. He leaves me. It starts to rain. I text jake who is in pub ‘watchin’ football one street over. He does not come to help.

Finally two Hungarian men come along and help me and carry my chav bags all the way to big flash house. Gratefully I invite them into house for cup of tea and to show them river view. I have no sugar or milk so they shake head in disgust and leave.

I order a whole Pizza to self with thick base and delicious meat all over using the money from the kitty that Jake has obviously set up for just such emergencies. I settle in and watch back to back scrubs and friends. Pretend big flash house is own house all to self and Jake does not exist.

He comes in when pub closes and slurs abuse at me because you ‘come all the way to fuggin englin and only wash American craps and telly’. I tell him British humour is unamusing and he nearly has embolism and goes to bed. He ruins my Pizza experience and I do not binge eat the whole thing in one sitting as planned. There is a slight chance I will be pleased about this later. I sleep in spare room.