I slept for about 11 hours on Friday night as was so exhausted from week of starting to exercise again. I woke only at midday by Jake doing the loudest fart I had ever heard all the way from the bathroom. I could barely pull myself awake enough to yell out to congratulate him. 'I thought you were asleep and missed it' he said, relievedly.
I got up and went for a big long run. It is a new thing for me to exercise on Saturdays and it wasn't easy but I felt great and superior to everyone afterwards. I ran 7.4kms. Then I ate bran flakes and a cup of tea for breakfast and lay down until my face had stopped being purple. Had no lunch on account of it was 3pm when I ate breakfast.
That night Jake and I went out for dinner, even though I insisted that I didn't want to drink and that I was only having a small glass. We finished a bottle and then Jake took me to a stupid sports pub where it was packed and everyone smelt bad. Stupid smoking ban. I now long for a noseful of chemical ash, anything other than the smell of a thousand armpits joined in harmony. Jake brought me two beers which I complained about drinking but after a while I preferred that in my nose rather than the armpit smell. Finally we skipped home in exhalted spirits. Having insisted I was not drinking I suddenly found that abusing random people at the cash machine, then joining a group of chavs, asking them to sing with me, joining in, and then buying them all a round was a brilliant idea.
Dinner was prawns and bread followed by a duck tortilla with caramelised onions. That was taking it easy. You should have seen what I WANTED to eat.
Day 5 back on track
In the morning I ate some bran flakes and then nothing much else other than two coffees till later in the day. The stupid arrogant patronising Christian is back after a blessed reprieve and I had vaguely forgotten how much I hate everything he does. In fact every time he speaks I clench my hands and grit my teeth and make a low growling noise through them. I was in the stationery cupboard when I heard him make a joke (a dumb one) and everyone laughed and I stood in the cupboard going Rrrrrgggggggggg in manner of the evil Gargamel in a cartoon who is secretly plotting his demise.
At lunchtime I went down to the canteen and ate soup and a small wheat roll. The day was going well until the stupid Christian announced that he had brought gourmet Jellybeans in from his holiday and I was overwhelmed with an urge to empty the whole tub into my mouth. Only my need for him to know I would never deign to eat anything he bought held me back but anytime he left the room I was over there grabbing handfuls and stuffing them in my mouth quickly and then casually sauntering back to my desk.
Finally it was time to finish work and head on the bus to Oxford. I was STARVING as it took hours to get there and I was carrying at least 19 pairs of shoes for the whole two days away and of course all my gym gear as I intended to run at LEAST 20 miles over the weekend. Jake met me at the bar near the bus stop and brought me a small red wine. I insisted on going home and NOT stop in at every single bar on the way to his, so I wouldn't be terribly hungover and unable to run the following day. SO, we just stopped at the three on the way home and I asked Jake what he was feeding me. 'Pizza and chips and salad' he said proudly. I knew that he thought this was healthy and low fat because he had tagged 'salad' on the end there. I glared at him. I was really thinking YUM, but I had to think of something disaproving to say. Finally I gave up, and said 'I bet you dont have enough chips' in a manner which certainly showed HIM who was boss of all of the food.
Jake dissolved into tears of laughter and I stared at him with my lip curled. He said 'I don't want to doubt your dietary intentions' - and paused to laugh and gulp a little - 'but the phrase 'I bet you don't have enough chips' really says it all'. I turned my back on him and sipped my wine angrily, taking the opportunity to give the glad-eye to Hot Guy across the bar in order to punish Jake. Jake did not care as was too amused at his own stupid joke.
I had half a small pizza and baked chips and salad no dressing. Not a great day but not the worst.
At lunchtime I went down to the canteen and ate soup and a small wheat roll. The day was going well until the stupid Christian announced that he had brought gourmet Jellybeans in from his holiday and I was overwhelmed with an urge to empty the whole tub into my mouth. Only my need for him to know I would never deign to eat anything he bought held me back but anytime he left the room I was over there grabbing handfuls and stuffing them in my mouth quickly and then casually sauntering back to my desk.
Finally it was time to finish work and head on the bus to Oxford. I was STARVING as it took hours to get there and I was carrying at least 19 pairs of shoes for the whole two days away and of course all my gym gear as I intended to run at LEAST 20 miles over the weekend. Jake met me at the bar near the bus stop and brought me a small red wine. I insisted on going home and NOT stop in at every single bar on the way to his, so I wouldn't be terribly hungover and unable to run the following day. SO, we just stopped at the three on the way home and I asked Jake what he was feeding me. 'Pizza and chips and salad' he said proudly. I knew that he thought this was healthy and low fat because he had tagged 'salad' on the end there. I glared at him. I was really thinking YUM, but I had to think of something disaproving to say. Finally I gave up, and said 'I bet you dont have enough chips' in a manner which certainly showed HIM who was boss of all of the food.
Jake dissolved into tears of laughter and I stared at him with my lip curled. He said 'I don't want to doubt your dietary intentions' - and paused to laugh and gulp a little - 'but the phrase 'I bet you don't have enough chips' really says it all'. I turned my back on him and sipped my wine angrily, taking the opportunity to give the glad-eye to Hot Guy across the bar in order to punish Jake. Jake did not care as was too amused at his own stupid joke.
I had half a small pizza and baked chips and salad no dressing. Not a great day but not the worst.
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